When you lose a parent too young (my mum was 55), there’s no doubt about it, it is extremely painful! However, you can choose to let it define you, and become a victim, and someone who spends their life whining about how life sucks & is unfair
You can CHOOSE LIFE!
Choose to live the best life you can, and do everything you would have (and more) if your loved one was still around….
There will always be moments when the pain & grief return, and it’s important to work your way though those moments, but please don’t let them take over & affect the rest of your life.
I celebrated my 40th birthday recently and most of the day was amazing. I felt really loved and grateful for all the wonderful people in my life, but there were still moments where I cried my eyes out because mum wasn’t there.
Only people who have lost a parent too young would understand this….. sorry folks but that’s reality. Most of the time, once the initial grief has subsided, you manage to live your life and do your best, but there are times when you get angry and the feeling of being a little ripped off returns.
My advice to those who are going through a similar situation is to accept that these moments are always going to come, and that momentous occasions in your life are going be impacted somewhat by the gap that your loved one has left, but whatever you do, please DON’T let it stop you from living your best life.
In trying to see lessons, and meaning in all things, I believe that I have achieved MORE in my life, taken more risks, followed my dreams, transformed my life, and am making the most of EVERY moment, BECAUSE my mum died. I feel that she has played a big part in me going ‘off the beaten track’, stepping outside of my comfort zone, and creating a life that I love.
So for that I am thankful. It also brings me comfort because I feel that my mum’s early passing wasn’t for nothing, and that some good has come of it, not just for me, but for all the people that my life has already had, and is going to have, an impact on.
If you know, or love, someone who has experienced a similar loss as me, the best thing you can do to support them is to let them go through the emotions and feel the pain & sadness on special days (or whenever it comes up), give them a hug, and ask if you can do anything to help. Most of the time the answer will be no, they just want to have a cry, or take a moment to be sad, before they move on & it will mean a lot that you are there if they need you.
By writing this, I am by no means discounting the grief that people feel when their parents die later in life. I am simply sharing what it’s like when a parent or loved one is taken too young, & how it’s different for those of us it has happened to.