Hello out there! This is the part 2 of Narcissists and Psychopaths series and today’s topic is how to spot a narcissist. On part one, I talked about the psychological criteria and the diagnostic criteria used to classify someone as having a narcissistic personality disorder and I also detailed the criteria for anti-social personality disorder. Anti-social PD is often referred to in clinical practice as psychopathy or someone who is a psychopath (which is quite different to what Hollywood would have you believe!).
For those who prefer to watch, or listen to videos, please skip ahead to the bottom of the page where you can hear me chat about this topic and give you some pointers. If you prefer to read the information, then please keep going 🙂
How do you spot a narcissist? Here are things and characteristics to look out that will help you spot one:
- The most dominant characteristic of a narcissist is that they put themselves first above all others, that includes their partner, their children, anybody else. They consider themselves above everybody!
- They also love talking about themselves. They don’t like talking about you at all and if you do say something when you’re in a conversation with them, they will either dismiss it or quickly circle the conversation back around to them.
- They’re also very flattering and often this can be a ploy to get you to fall in love with them.
- The other thing the narcissist love to do is brag and it’s not necessarily all about things they have achieved. It could also be things in the future that they are going to achieve.
- They love name dropping and they are obsessed with image.
- They lack empathy. If you combine the lack of empathy with the sense of entitlement, plus exploitation of others, which we’re gonna talk about in a little bit, then that’s usually a pretty good sign that you’re dealing with a narcissist.
- Sense of entitlement. Narcissists believe that they are the center of the universe, they are special and they deserve special treatment.
- They also don’t believe rules apply to them, and some examples of how this might play out is that you are expected to accommodate all of their needs.
- They might expect you to like what they like. They always expect to meet at their convenience, even if it’s not convenient to you.
- They like to exploit others and this is not necessarily going to be obvious at the very beginning. Often this comes out when you have gotten to know them a little bit better.
- They envy others. Basically they want to be the best, they want to be the first, they don’t like their competitors no matter who they are and they love to tear other people down, and say they don’t deserve what they’ve just got or what they’ve just earned.
- They can’t take criticism because they never even listen to it, they just dismiss that person as being envious of them.
- They are arrogant and they like to put others down
- They will never take responsibility unless it’s for a success and then you’ll never hear the end of it. But if it’s something that they’ve done to hurt you or hurt somebody else, they will never take responsibility for that and will always blame others.
Hopefully this list will assist you to identify a narcissist and help you avoid becoming their next victim!
To wrap up what I would like to do is to set you a little bit of a challenge. Have a look back at past relationships or could be a current relationship and use the list that we’ve just gone through to determine if that person potentially fits the characteristics in the criteria of narcissistic personality disorder. And if you could please share your findings with the Bright Sparks group, so that we can all learn from each other. Here’s the link to the group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/highlysensitiveextrovertswithjennt/
Enjoy the rest of your day.