I’m going to talk about the importance of filling your own cup first.
Another analogy for that is when you’re on the plane and they do the safety briefing and then they always say “put your own oxygen mask on first before helping other people”. Essentially it’s the same concept. I like the idea of filling your own cup first. If you continue that analogy, once your cup is full and it starts overflowing, then it’s easier to picture in your mind all this excess goodness flowing over the brim of the cup, that you then have spare, for other people.
For those who prefer to watch, or listen to videos, please skip ahead to the bottom of the page where you can hear me chat about this topic and give you some pointers. If you prefer to read the information, then please keep going 🙂
How many of you have experienced feelings of being overwhelmed, stressed, exhaustion or any other such unhelpful moments in life and the reason you feel that way is because you’ve been so busy looking after everyone else around you, that you’ve forgotten to take care of yourself?
Further to that, once you have reached that state of overwhelm, stress, or exhaustion, have a think about what it’s like being in that state. How useful are you to the other people in your life who actually need you…..?
That’s really why this topic is so important. The people who need us, they need us to be at our best! And don’t they also deserve our best too?
Here are my top three tips for how to fill your own cup first:
Tip #1: Accept that most of the time, or in fact, all of the time you can’t do it all.
Once you accept that, it becomes a little bit easier to prioritise. Something that I’ve gotten much better at in recent times is, once I have accepted that I’m not going to be able to do it, or there’s only a limited number of hours in the day, I am better able to let go of the things that are not REALLY necessary. This results in removing the invisible psychological pressure that is weighing you down due to expecting too much of yourself.
Tip #2: Learn to say no
This is easier for some people and really difficult for others. If it’s something that you find difficult, then the trick is to practice, it’s really a case of ‘practice makes perfect’ in this situation.
Set yourself a time related target to practice with, for example: the next week I’m going to politely say no to every request that comes my way.
Obviously do this within reason, I don’t want you to get fired over it because you say no to your boss!
A helpful strategy is to ALWAYS say to people asking for something from you: “I’ve got a lot going on right now, so is it ok if I get back to you in a couple of days?” Then if you still don’t feel strong enough to say no to their face, or over the phone, you could send a polite text or an email until you feel a lot stronger about using the word no….
Tip #3: Make sure you schedule some time for play, timeout, relaxation, and pampering
I think this is really really important in terms of filling your own cup first ,and this is something that I’m still learning to implement. It’s much harder when you’re really busy and when you’ve got a lot on your plate. But that is also when it is the most important time to do it.
This is where you can really have some fun because it is about doing things that you enjoy. Book an appointment with yourself, actually mark it in your calendar and commit to it like it’s a business meeting. No changing it, no procrastinating, no putting it off. Remember the busier you are, the more important it is to take that time out. You and your loved ones will pay an even higher price if you keep putting it off.
There are a ton of different strategies that I can help you with. If you would like more help, and to learn more personal growth and development tips, you can join my free Facebook group, with a particular focus on Highly Sensitive Extrovert women: