Triggers are your Responsibility to Overcome

It’s not the world’s job to change their behaviour, to avoid triggering you…… 

I’ll give you an example of what I mean by this. Recently, I was promoting a free online event that I host for Highly Sensitive Extroverts, and I’ve nicknamed it, the Wine, Cheese, and Pyjamas Chat, because I want to communicate through the title that it’s a casual catch up….. i.e. you can wear your PJ’s, you can enjoy a glass of wine if that’s your jam. The event is a casual catch up that I host once a month, with the idea to support HSP-Extroverts (HSP-Es) and help them connect and get to know other HSP-Es.

I had a lady say to me, “I’m getting triggered every time I read the word wine”, she didn’t go into detail, but she basically wanted me to change what I was doing because it was triggering her.

Now the challenge with this is, as I said, “triggers are your responsibility”. It’s not up to the world to change their behaviour, so that they don’t accidentally trigger you. The only caveat I will add to this, is if it’s really horrific stuff, such as child pornography or animal cruelty or something that’s considered generically triggering, then that’s different. In those situations, if you are posting things like that, then expect people to say, “Can you stop doing this?” It is kind of universally not acceptable.

However, if it’s things like the word wine, or any other thing that might trigger you, it’s up to you to fix those triggers. Let’s dive more into that.

I want to communicate how to view the situation a different way. If you are someone who is getting triggered, and asking other people to change their behaviour, or change the way they are saying something, so that they don’t trigger you, you are essentially giving your power away to everybody else.

Taking responsibility for your own triggers is a way to take back that power and actually take some action to fix it yourself. The result is you are empowering yourself, rather than allowing everybody else out there to have power over you.

How to Overcome your Triggers

1 – The first step is to accept responsibility for your reactions. If you are getting triggered by something, your reaction is your reaction and you are the only one that has the power to change that reaction.

2 – The second step is to catch it as soon as you can. Recognise that you are having an emotional reaction and start to pay attention to what kind of physical sensations are present. Be aware of the thoughts that might be going through your head and pay attention to the patterns. The more you practice this, the earlier you will be able to catch it in the future.

3 – The third step is to choose what you want to feel, and what you want to do instead of that trigger reaction that you’re currently having. This is where your power comes in.

4 – The fourth step is to take action. Actively shift your emotional state from where it currently is, where you’re being triggered to how you would like it to be and how you would prefer to feel.

The other thing you can do is get some help. BWRT, which is helping my clients get truly life changing results with all sort of challenges, can help with this. So will coaching, and personal development work. You can find out more about BWRT here.

Take Action Challenge Activity:

Think about the last time that you were triggered and work through the steps I’ve just outlined so that you can choose a different reaction and then act on that different reaction.

If you think you’re a highly sensitive extrovert, I would love to have you join us in my free Facebook group, “Highly Sensitive Extroverts, Bright Sparks”. We discuss these things in a lot more detail.

 I also have a new paid program. It’s a group coaching environment called “Bright Sparks Breakthrough Academy”.

If you’re not already a member of my free Facebook group, then please join the group here and share your findings & observations from this challenge with the group.  See you there!